Vampires in Suburbia

Keeping up with the Joneses, overly groomed lawns, stultifying marriages, false friendships . . . No, I’m not blogging about Desperate Housewives (actually, I’ve never watched it, so forgive me if I’m jumping to conclusions)—I’m blogging about Matt Haig’s latest book, The Radleys. Oh, did I mention the suburban family we’re talking about is secretly made up of vampires?

Helen and Peter Radley are a respectable couple with two teenagers, Clara and Rowan. Their terrible bloodlust has been repressed since Rowan was conceived, and they’ve even weeded all the vampire-made music and movies from their DVD and CD collections. They eat lots of rare meat and take ibuprofen by the bushel to combat the constant migraines caused by dietary deficiency, and they have never told their children what they really are.

Of course, the truth will out, as they say, and the truth outs when teenaged Clara, attempting to become vegan, starts craving blood at just the wrong moment. Hijinks ensue.

I was not wowed by this book, or even very much amused. Please let me know if you disagree, but I think people who like vampires will be bored by the suburban banality of the storyline, and people who like in-depth family melodramas will be turned off by the vampirism. I really enjoyed Haig’s The Dead Father’s Club for its quirkiness, characterization, and moments of humor, and I will continue to read his work, but this one went sour on me.