Obnoxious, kind of preachy, and absolutely hilarious—Beauty Queens is a thrilling feminist pop-culture-eviscerating extravaganza of laughs, worthy of reading yourself or suggesting to your teens.
The Corporation, monopolistic maker of such fine self-improvement products as Lady ‘Stache Off and Maxi-Pad Pets, is sponsoring the Miss Teen Dream Beauty Pageant—but the plane carrying the 50 contestants crashes on a desert island, killing off pilots, stewardesses, adult chaperones, and even a few Teen Dreamers! The remaining beauty queens must struggle to survive while keeping up with their exfoliating, singing drills, and ab crunches.
Bray keeps the pace quick by alternating chapters focusing on different girls, adding in commercial breaks and footnotes from the Corporation, and including the girls’ Teen Dream Pageant applications—with everything they crossed out.
Gradually, the girls adjust to living on the island, finding pride in their survival skills and their strengths, changing their priorities to reflect their new reality. When a ship goes aground on the shore of the island, carrying a load of dashing pirate teenage boys who’ve gone AWOL from the “reality show” they were filming, the girls suddenly have a whole new set of issues. And when it turns out the island is actually a secret government military base in the pocket of the Corporation, things get even zanier.
OK, this book is NOT SUBTLE AT ALL. There were points where I found the preachiness kind of off-putting—but I stuck with it for the humor, and I’m glad I did. For many teens, Beauty Queens may be just the irreverent refreshment they need to question the cookie-cutter consumer teen magazine mentality that teaches them uniqueness is just another shade of lipstick.
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